Bella Akhmadulina – Addio / Farewell

Giambattista Tiepolo, Armida abandoned by Rinaldo, 1757

And I shall tell you at the end:
farewell, don’t pledge self to love, helpless.
I go mad, or just ascend
to the high echelon of madness.
How had you loved? – You’d put aside
even the Death. But ‘tis not matter.
How had you loved? You’d done that right,
but you had had to do that better.
Hell of a blunder! I shall not
Forgive you else. It lives – my body –
it roams, sees the real world,
but just with emptiness it’s loaded.
My mind yet makes its scanty work,
But arms had helplessly felled down,
and, likewise a small airy flock,
vanish aslant all smells and sounds.

E in ultimo ti dirò – Addio,
e non promettermi amore!
Perderò la ragione. O troverò
la sublime serenità della follia.
Come mi hai amato? Pregustando
l’offesa della fine. Ma in modo così goffo…
Crudeltà del fallimento, io
non ti perdono. Vivo, cammino,
vedo il bianco mondo
ma il corpo mio è deserto.
La mente vorrebbe ancora un piccolo
lavoro. Ma son deboli le mani.
E uno sciame di odori e di sapori
in volo sghembo si allontana
da me.